Where There is No Struggle, There is No Strength

I first heard this song tonight on The Voice, and the moment I heard it,  I knew that I had to write about it. The song "Warrior" by Demi Lovato is something I relate to so incredibly much, and I believe that anyone who has suffered with any type of pain, emotional or physical, should listen to this song.

I have felt an immense amount of pain; growing up I had to be five steps ahead of my age, I struggled with wanting to badly to be close to people who could relate to me and my heart longed for God. I had to go through quite a journey to find peace within myself. Today, dealing with chronic pain, the journey still continues,however, I have never felt such trust in my Higher Power.

I have been infuriated with pain ever since I began to feel it physically, not only did it alter my body and what it's capable of doing, I felt more alone than ever. Considering that I had struggled with finding friends in the past, having illnesses made it so much harder; no one wants to deal with it or hear about me "whine". I have realized that everything in my life happens for a reason; without my struggle, I wouldn't be the compassionate, understanding and genuine person I am today who strives to help others.

I am a warrior, I am a strong person who uses negative experiences and turns them into positives. I no longer am captive to my illnesses, I refuse to look at myself as a prisoner.

Today, I let go and let God..I consistently try to hand it over because at the end of the day, He knows what is best for me.

Click here to listen to Demi's song

Meeting Dr. Piper

I honestly do not know where to begin when writing about this man; he gave me the hope that I needed to get my life back. Dr. Mark Piper is a brilliant, patient, genuine asset to the medical field and I would recommend him to anyone with any facial issues.

My first consult back in February 2014 was an all day affair! I traveled with my parents who were with me and by my side. This was very important to me considering I didn't have any emotional support and wasn't even believed by my family.

I walked into The Piper Clinic feeling scared and excited because I knew I would be diagnosed that day. I was greeted by the sweetest receptionist named Cassandra; I truly could tell she cared about each patient making sure to help them feel comfortable. Dr. Piper is a doctor who won't move on to the next patient without finishing with you first 100%- I was there for more than 12 hours that day because he made sure I understood my diagnosis and plans to the fullest extent.

In the exam room, waiting on Dr.P

I met Dr. Piper who assessed me and also used Doppler auscultation to confirm a diagnosis. The device used for the Doppler was nothing scary; it's a small machine that has a tube-like end to it, where it is then placed on each side of my face and gives reliable information regarding the status of the condyle and anything else that's going on inside! I then got a CT scan as well as an MRI. What did we find? Both TMJs: disc displaced with severe degeneration, condylar edema, Osteoarthrosis and major scar tissue.

Not only were my TMJs full of issues, my cervical spine was as well: abnormal, C2-C3 has slipped, which can cause headaches from back of skull to forehead and behind eyes; my entire vertebrae is shifted to the left.

I had never heard of CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) until this day when I learned I had it in my face. CRPS is a chronic systemic disease characterized by sever pain,  swelling, and changes in the skin. CRPS often worsens over time.

I received extremely thorough paperwork including EVERYTHING I was informed of during my consult, the conservative method I would be part of and if that did not work, what surgical procedure would be best for me.

I have never felt so safe in my life.

The Beginning of an Insane Journey

Chronic pain is a horrific feeling of being trapped inside of a body without any control- as if your body is fighting against you. Despite this disturbing aspect of my life, I still call myself a Warrior...a survivor of illnesses that want to take me down.

When I was 18, I fell out of a vehicle going 65 miles per hour, resulting in extreme road rash and a broken foot. Six months later I had another motor vehicle accident during an ice storm, flipping my SUV 3 times- again walking away with a couple of scratches. Finally, 9 months later or so I had another accident (go figure), hitting a bridge going about 55 mph.

Little did I know that I had started a battle based on poor decisions. I did not feel any pain until 2010 when I was 20 years old; it wasn't anything severe, just migraines. However, in early 2011 I began to feel chronic wide-spread pain which then got worse as time went by. It turned into insane headaches and migraines, Tempomandibular Joint pain, neck and spine issues...I knew something was wrong. I began to be depressed and mad, as my pain was really taking a toll.

Not only was I forced to endure such agony, I was so alone as no one believed me. I saw countless doctors only to be pushed to the side with no diagnosis. Over a 4 year period I dealt with the pain constantly, starting at a 3 daily to up to a 10. Due to the fact that the doctors had no idea (or care for that matter) what I was going through, I turned to my dear friend Google. I knew I had to figure out what was going on or my life would be headed to a place no one wants to be.

From my research, I initially thought I had Trigeminal Neuralgia which is a neuropathic disorder characterized by episodes of intense pain in the face, originating from the trigeminal nerve. Everything added up and I even went to a conference about it! 

Since I did not have a proper diagnosis, I started seeing a pain doctor who specialized in spinal care. Just to show that the other 14 doctors that I had seen were ridiculous and had no idea what they were talking about...I had an obscene amount of imaging done in the prior years and they all failed to see that I had herniated discs in my lumbar and cervical spine. Due to this and the other pain I was dealing with I had been on pain pills and muscle relaxers for 3 years; I needed them to live. 

In February 2014 I had a consultation with the man who saved my life- Dr. Mark Piper in St. Petersburg, FL. During my first consult I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (Type 1), Systemic arthritis and TMJ disorder. After that, I began to see the light.